Vanilla Lavender Dreams

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
brightwanderer
brightwanderer

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

atlas-prime
crystalesbian

the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of grey isn’t that it’s twilight fanfiction, it’s that it’s bad ooc twilight fanfiction. the implication that edward would be into bdsm is so fucking dumb he’s a 100 year old virgin who cried and went into a week-long depression the first time he fucked bella he wouldn’t even consider the idea of fucking her until they were married because he didn’t want to compromise his virtue and you’re telling me he’s a dom? no, edward cullen has the most boring vanilla sex ever the only thing unconventional about the way bella and edward fuck is that bella tops and edward cries the whole time and bella gets fed up and goes to the other house to fuck rosalie and edward cries some more in his room alone

mens-rights-activia
himfluenza

Might be controversial with the tumblr crowd but something that ive learned both as a teen on the internet, as an adult who’s done management & just worked a job, and through observation of other peoples lives and problems, if a person tells you that “EVERYBODY says (negative thing) about them and they dont know why”, “everybody” is right, and they Do know why, and those words are your cue to become involved with this person as little as possible.

himfluenza

When my coworkers said he got fired from his last job for being late and that it was “totally unreasonable”, i wasn’t surprised when he showed up 5-15 minutes late to every shift. When one of the people i managed last summer said that when she worked her last job everyone said she wasnt a hard worker and worked too slow and she thought it was unfair and confusing, I wasn’t surprised when she had severe performance issues. When my friend told me her new boyfriend said all his exes were crazy, i wasn’t surprised when he turned out to be the crazy one. When a boy at my college said no girl would give him a chance and he didnt know why, i wasn’t surprised when he was a misogynist. When one of my friends in early high school said everyone kept abandoning them and calling them manipulative and controlling i Was surprised when they were toxic and manipulative and controlling, and i felt extreme guilt for “abandoning them” and joining a list of people who just wouldnt stick around, but i learned, and it was a lesson that stuck. I dont feel guilty anymore. I didnt abandon them, i broke off the friendship because they were a hurtful, mean person who refused to change their behavior. I learned to listen when people say what their personality flaws are. A lot of the time they’ll tell you themselves. People very rarely dip from someones life without a word- theres boundaries crossed, explanations of hurtful behavior that are ignored to shield the perpetrators emotions and ego, the reasons are never missing, they just are ignored to fit a different, self victimizing narrative.

If everybody around you has the same problem with you, the problem doesn’t lie with everyone else.

socialistexan
quasi-normalcy

The whole “Libs of TikTok” thing gets at what I think is a pretty fundamental flaw with the platform: that it encourages minors to post video of themselves where absolutely anyone, friend or foe or fascist, can find it. For God’s sake, the beauty of the Internet used to be that you could be fucking anonymous!

quasi-normalcy

Anyways, moral of the story is that the erosion of privacy in the online age puts queer people directly under threat. This fact has been obscured during the past decade of historically unprecedented social acceptance, but never forget that hiding is a tool of survival.